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 Cracked's Yellow Nuzlocke

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Cracked Atlas
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PostSubject: Cracked's Yellow Nuzlocke   Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:44 pm

What? You thought I was doing an Emerald Nuzlocke? Dude, read the title of the thread. It says 'Yellow'. I mean really, where'dyou get that whole Emerald thing from.

Now that we've cleared that up...

Pokémon Yellow, Nuzlocke'd and LP's by me, Cracked Atlas. With the added benefit that I've never played a Gen 1 game before.

First thing's first, a name. Shall I be generic and do what anime fanboys the world over did?


Nah.


Now for a Rival name. What's the opposite of 'Cracked'?


Ah, fuck it.


Alright, now the game actually starts. Time to go downstairs. Let's see what's on TV.


♪ Oh Bakura, Bakura, Stand by me, ooooh, Stand by me... ♪

Ahem. Moving on.

I end up at the Lab, as all young trainers do. No sign of Professor Oak though. Hmm, I wonder who this guy is...

The Professor's aide, that's whose. (I expect maybe one person to get this joke.)

I find Oak, his Blue's a dick, we fight.

So his name's Blue, his sprite is red and his Pokéballs are green... Okay then.

Speaking of sprites, how're the Pokémon sprite in Gen 1?




MY EYES!!!

Anyway, I defeated Blue and, get this my Pikachu started following me around.

Actually, having your Pokémon follow you around is pretty cool. I bet it'll become a mainstay of the entire series. (LOL NO.)

Time for some grinding... at 3000% speed.


Moving onwards, I find myself in Viridian. The first gym I come across is closed, however.

Who owns the Gym? No one important, I'm sure. So a keep on going.

Fuck yes!

Looks like I'm gonna have good luck with the Pokémon I catch this playthrough.

Oops, spoke to soon.

/Sigh/ Back to grinding.


Finally I can move on. Into the Forest!

Everything seems to be going fine-

OH MY GOD NO A CATERPIE ITS GOING TO EAT MY BULBASAUR AND-
Wait a minute... I don't have a Bulbasaur. Nevermind.

I find my way to the next city, but something seems off about it...

Hmm... Tall buildings, everything's grey... Oh my God, this is just like 1984! This place must be the Pokémon version of Orwell's Oceania. Wait, no, that's ridiculous.

I mean first, it'd have to have a Ministry of Love, or Miniluv, dedicated to enforcing the love of Big Brother through force and torture...

...nah, just a coincidence.

I mean, it would also have to have a Ministry of Plenty, Miniplenty, dedicated to rationing food and supplies...

Eerie, I guess, but still a coincidence.

I mean, where's the Ministry of Peace, Minipax, dedicated to organising the army...

Yeah, okay. But all towns have a Poké Centre, a Poké Mart and a Gym.

And we still need the Ministry of Truth, Minitru, dedicated to controlling and editing all written knowledge so that it spreads Big Brother propaganda.







Well that settles it. This /is/ Oceania. Time to take down Big Brother.

So Big Brother really is watching. Time to fight for all of the oppressed people of this town.



He has been defeated! This is a stunning victory for freedom. Go, residents of whatever town this is again, live your lives free from the oppression of Big Brockther.


And with that I leave you. 'Till next time, everyone.

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PostSubject: Re: Cracked's Yellow Nuzlocke   Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:49 pm

Argh! Fuck this site and its lame image hosting powers.

Why is there a thumbnail button? And why is it above the non-thumbnail button?

RAAAAAAGGEEEE!!!!

Okay, I'm done. Might fix it later.

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PostSubject: Re: Cracked's Yellow Nuzlocke   Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:37 pm

It's amazing how far the manga deviated from the game for the Yellow arc.
Plot summary of Pokémon Special Yellow Arc:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Cracked's Yellow Nuzlocke   Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:39 pm

More plot summary:
 

Oh, also, a word of advice when dealing with gen one games: freeze is permanent. So, if one of your Pokémon gets frozen, don't wait for them to thaw out, because it won't happen unless they're hit by a fire-type move. Make sure you have lots of freeze heals.

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PostSubject: Re: Cracked's Yellow Nuzlocke   Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:46 pm

Was Brock a totalitarian dictator?

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PostSubject: Re: Cracked's Yellow Nuzlocke   Sat Feb 11, 2012 7:04 pm

No, but he's bad-ass.

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PostSubject: Re: Cracked's Yellow Nuzlocke   Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:09 pm

Entry 2: Sex, Drugs, and Pokémon. (The following LP may not contain all of those things.)

Back on the road, travelling to... I dunno, the next bloody town. Cerulean! That's the one.

Engsoc badge in hand, I continue on my way.

Now, I'm no Christian, but frankly...

That looks pretty demonic, does it not? Actually, with these damn Gen I sprites, everything looks demonic. Even Blue. Especially Blue, come to think. I wonder if he's Satan?

Awesome, my Nidoran, Ezekiel, is evolving!

Oh... Zeke's a chick? Uh... I'm going to go with saying that Zeke's transgendered. Y'all can believe that, right? Right?

Moving right along, I soon find myself in the dreaded, the horrifying, the CAVE OF INFINITE ZUBAT!!!

For gamers everywhere, hell will look like this. And to make things worse...

I get attacked with a man with a neckbeard, who I assume is a paedophile. Then,

Uh, this is what Team Rocket look like in Gen I? That's fucking terrifying. Like, he seriously looks like he's going to fuck me up with that whip. Then rape me. Then rape me with the whip. Could this cave get any worse?

GOD DAMNIT, ANIMEFAGS! Ugh, /now/ things can't get any worse.

Oh I just had to say it, didn't I. My precious 'P'. Poisoned. I make a mad dash for the exit of the cave, praying I get to a Pokécenter in time.

Which, thankfully, I do.

Now that my horrific incident of terror is over, time to stock up on supplies.

Lot's of supplies.

Exploring the town, I come across a woman giving away a Bulbasaur.

Apparently someone left it, half dead in Viridian Forrest after it had been eaten by Cater... Actually, fuck it. I've already made that joke/reference.

I head back West to check out the patch of grass next to the CAVE OF INFINITE ZUBAT!!!

Everythingturnedoutbetterthanexpected.

I head back to town to heal Dusty up, when suddenly,

Why if it isn't Satan himself.

Needless to say, I thrash his ass.

Do do do do do do...


Hey... what smells like blue?

Anyway, back to grinding.




Ugh, that was a chore.

Next port of call, the Nugget bridge.

Shame I can't Mew glitch.

In the patch of grass next to the Bridge I find a Pidgey, which is cool.


Then directly above that area, a guy gives me a Charmander. This kinda dissapointed me, because the Pidgey was the first 'mon I encountered in the area. But then I checked Bulbapedia, and found that they're actually 2 different Routes. Hooray!

Let's go crash some castles.

A bit more to the East I find a man who's turned himself into a Pokémon and needs my help to fix it.

Wait... what? Fuck this, I'm going back to town.

Oh look sweet, an item.


Ah shit!

Okay, enough of this bullshit. I need to do something calming. Like... visit a strip club.

I mean, I think that this is a strip club.


Yep. Definitely a strip club.

I find who I assume to be the best stripper in the club...

See, she knows what she's doing.

I ask her for a private dance, if you get my meaning. Apparently she's into some weird BDSM role playing stuff...

But that's okay I guess. We 'fight' for a little bit.


Wha-? Okay, I admit, I don't have much experience with this sort of thing, but I thought I was meant to pay her. I guess I'm just that good.

Except I'm meant to be 10.

Oh shit. I think I need an adult.










Uh, 'till next time, I guess. I'm off to find a nice, friendly FBI agent.


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